Another Holiday with Meat Eaters :(

[Chris Tinney]

Every Holiday I sit at the table while a giant hunk of flesh is placed on the table.

I know if I say how I feel it will drive more people away from my message of loving animals and not eating them so I sit and I watch as people eat and I recieve compliments like, "you're the nicest vegan I know". I get peppered with questions that no one really wants the answer too so I'm short in my answers and simply say I have a brochure if they really want to know ("Why Vegan" from Veganoutreach.com). I feel good because every year someone comes to me and says, "I think I'm gonna try that". That makes me feel good.

What doesn't make me feel good is because I am more laid back people assume I'm ok with the jokes about meat. I'm not. I sit amazed as people that are overweight and unhealthy don't see the irony in telling me they don't think my diet is healthy. LOOK IN A FUCKING MIRROR PEOPLE!

We had ten dogs at our family xmas. almost all rescues. So I have to appreciate these people. But how can you rescue one animal and eat another?

I think if they walked in a room and saw the family dog being served for dinner they'd understand how I feel.

I dont have to live with an animal in order to love it enough to not kill it and eat it.

For that matter the homeless boy on the street doesnt have to me my biological son in order for me to love him and want to help.

Listen up all my Veg*n friends.
We're not the crazy ones.

They are.

What happens at your holidays?
How do you handle it?

[Shinobi Bombay]

Holidays at my in-laws to be was actually very cool.They made stuff specially for my fiancee and I.They don't necessarily 'get it',but,they are cool with it.My sister calls herself a half-ass vegetarian,and my folks are also just as accepting.The only real problem I seem to run into is with people from my own faith(Catholic) who seem to forget that the Vegan lifestyle is condoned by thousands of Monks and Nuns and even the Fathers of the Church and many Saints. Very frustrating....

[Brittany Abstract]

Oh, this year was really bad for me. I confronted my dad because he always makes mean comments about my vegetarianism and the result was damn near apocalyptic. Seriously, it was not good. I even overheard them telling my grandmother that they think I'm mentally ill because I take offense to their mean spirited jokes. On top of that, we were in Kentucky for the holidays, where EVERYONE hunts and my sister gleefully pointed out every single dead, stuffed animal she saw in an attempt to get a rise out of me. They say that family is special because they accept you more than anyone else does, but no one makes me feel more angry and isolated than my family does.

I don't mind serious questions. It's the ignorant jokes and comments that I'm growing very weary of. This was kind of a personal story, I just wanted anyone else who's going through something similar to know that they're not alone.

[bramble]

it's not you... as the OP said... it's them =:P i'm older and don't mind being called crazy. knowing what i know about the world, i'd say it's a compliment not to be "normal" like they are ;)

[Mr. Yellow Sunshine Pants]

"But how can you rescue one animal and eat another?"

"Custom will reconcile a people to any atrocity" ~George Bernard Shaw
. . . That's just how lots of people are, unfortunately, whether it comes to animal issues or otherwise.

"LOOK IN A FUCKING MIRROR PEOPLE!"

One part of the trouble is, some people think their body is healthy when it's not, others think their body isn't healthy when it is. In the 50's, many more people thought a darker tan, without limits, was healthier; less people today still believe that. (and sure, sunshine is good for vitamin D --esp for vegans-- but you can get vitamin D using D3 pills WITHOUT the skin cancer risks.) Plenty of people call vegans "too skinny" even when the vegan is within the ideal BMI and hip:waist ratio measures (I suspect each person does this for different reasons, e.g. cos obesity has become "the norm" so someone of healthy weight truly seems too skinny to them, or maybe some people are fully aware that putting-down skinny people makes them feel better about their own weight, or that it's "revenge" on me after some other skinny person who I don't even know told em that their fat is gross or whatever. I never say a stranger's weight is "gross" personally, just "unhealthy," cos I think "gross" is just being petty but "unhealthy" Is a bit more objective. And I say nothing about anyone's weight unless they ask or otherwise open the topic...and when my GF's ask, I'll offer an opinion only when they're not holding a kitchen knife. ;-) Also, the Old Wives Tales about veganism persist cos we have so little nutrition education in schools from REAL dietitians, hence the "where do you get your protein" etc).

I think if they walked in a room and saw the family dog being served for dinner they'd understand how I feel.

I think I'll try getting some worms and an aborted 3rd-trimester fetus from a med supply company, then for people who say "but eating meat is natural," I'll reply that the species 2nd-closest to us genetically is the common chimpanzee (many people forget the peaceful bonobo's are chimps and even closer to human genetics, and in forgetting this, they then try to argue "chimps are war-like, so we should be too, it's 'natural' "), and I'll say:

"The COMMON chimp is cannibalistic and no other hominids eat animals except insects... and thus mankind in his 'natural' state would follow a chimp's practices more closely....so, dinner is served. ;-)

Would you like a meal fitting for a bonobo (practically vegan but some insects), or a common chimp (vegan+a little cannibalism+insects)?"

Neil Gaiman: BABYCAKES. :-)

[Teddybelle]

I understand where you're coming from. In about a week from now, I'm going by chartered bus to a springtime sugar shack with a group of people to get out of the city, breathe some country air, go hiking and taste some real maple syrup.

I know there will be the strong scent of cooked pig flesh wafting in and around the dining complex, which I know will gross me out. I had to make a judgment call -- should I or should I not go?

Every time I go to dinner with a group of people, say, co-workers, I find something to order, yet it's not the greatest selection as I don't eat dairy. Of course a discussion comes up as to why I'm not ordering, and I say to myself, 'here we go again'.

To end the story, I called up the sugar shack. A woman answered, I asked her if she served anything that did not contain meat or dairy. The woman was clearly baffled, 'why are you coming then?' I responded, 'To be in the country and taste maple syrup, and be with my friends.' She thought about that and said they serve coffee and a muffins.

The irony of my story is that I live with a meat eater, socialize with meat eaters, yet for some reason the thought of going to the beautiful countryside (where animals live) by bus so that everyone can pig out on pig revolts me.

Jewel

[Karlyne Wang]

Hi~

I know how you feel. My entire family(save my Uncle and his girlfriend) are meat eaters and cannot see otherwise. Even recently, when my aunt was diagnosed with cancer and was encouraged by the doctor to eat more fruit and veg and less meat, we had relatives visiting her telling her to eat all sorts of things like bird's nest, chicken esscence(I'm Asian) and white meat!

And once, when I had just turned vegetarian and was having family dinner for the first time since, my elder brother asked me why I was turning vegetarian, to which I said 'it's like seeing dead carcasses on the table', he just scoffed at me and said 'well, at least you'll lose weight!' It was pretty horrific, but I think all these putting people down is a way of justifying their own meat eating, even if they do not know it.

I have learnt to not care about it anymore. I cannot change how other people view vegetarianism unless they want to change themselves.

My friends have recently decided to go to a Korean BBQ restaurant, and seeing as it's mostly meat on the menu, I decided not to go. I think not having to see my friends happily toss pieces of flesh on a hot metal plate is a lot more important to me than hanging out with them.. And mind you, i LOVE these people to bits.

[pradtf]

there is no reason to hang out with friends when they are being disagreeable.
you can always explain you prefer them when they don't have corpse breath.

in friendship,
prad

[Karlyne Wang]

Hehehe~ Yeah, i know! That's why I've decided not to go. I can bake vegetarian cookies in the meantime or something. :)

[Terence Heaven]

It's really not easy to experience this.
But we still need to wait for their growth.
Some day, we may make them change......

[David]

I'm not sure I can offer any conclusive insight into this query, but I can mention what I've learned over the last 30-some years of being a vegetarian. I think I read somewhere recently that the non-meat eaters like us comprise less than one percent of the population here in the U.S., so to say the climb on this is uphill I guess would be a bit of an understatement. I think it's probably safe to say that against these odds, getting indignant or angry about this in front of meat eaters won't bring about any satisfactory results. If you can't handle being around meat eaters or their food or their restaurants, then your choices are simple...don't associate with those people or go to those places...or, a much easier approach in my opinion...get over it and move on. The approach that I've found works best for me starts with being at peace with myself and being confident about how I live my life as a vegetarian, after all, it's not just a method of gaining nourishment, it's a complete lifestyle. Being a vegetarian helps me focus how I look at the world around me...the people, the animals, the environment and how I choose to treat them and be treated by them. Meat eaters aren't interested in facts or figures or horror stories about their manufactured food supply that us non-meat eaters are all far too familiar with. I think it's safe to say all of us are completely disgusted and revolted at what goes on in the name of meat-as-food commerce in this country and around the world. Give meat eaters the slightest indication that their way is wrong or stupid and you've lost their ear for good. I don't discuss my being a vegetarian with anyone unless they ask about it first, then I let them lead the conversation to see where it goes...just being polite, or actual interest in the subject. I've always been the only vegetarian in my family, but they are all very supportive of my way of life now. Granted, it wasn't that way at first, but over the years I've prepared many dishes to share with them at their table and my table, to at least subtly educate them about my lifestyle, so that now for many years they always look forward to the next tasty choice I offer them. My family and friends all know if they come to my home that they are welcome to bring whatever they wish to eat...and they all know my gifts will all be vegetarian. The transition over the years has been interesting. New invites might bring something of their own to share with the other meat eaters, but eventually everyone shows up with a vegetarian choice that they've worked very hard on creating just for the get-together. I like to think this occurs because I set a positive example for them...but I've never asked, so I don't really know. My soon-to-be wife has decided to accept the vegetarian lifestyle as well...I assume this is out of respect for many of the various unknown factors that helped her decide that she wishes to be with me (one of those mysteries about women that I have no hope of ever understanding, but gladly accept). At any rate, this is my approach to the meat eaters of the world...it works for me.