How much should I teach my children about veganism?

[Trav]

I have two boys, 7 & 9 years-old, and I want them to understand my choices, To what degree do I expose them to the issue of animal rights? Is it too extreme to show them Meet your Meat or Earthlings? I wish someone had been in my life when I was a child that would have helped me understand. Am I forcing my values on them? All this is more complicated because my ex-wife is an omnivore.

[Vanessa]

I would just tell them the basics about what you eat/don't eat and maybe why. Keep it short and simple. If they seem interested or want to know more, tell them a little bit more.

I wouldn't just sit them down and show them one of those videos.
And I don't believe your forcing your beliefs on them unless you're making them become vegans.

[pradtf]

hi trav!

i don't think 7 & 9 year olds need to experience the horrors of the meat and dairy industry graphically (though if they are curious and sufficiently mature, there is nothing wrong with letting them see it).

they do need to understand the reasons for your choices - there are 3 main pillars: health, environment and ethics (a quick summary is presented here, but one can choose the extent of detail to go into).

the issue of animal rights doesn't need to be dealt with via philosophy 101 in the vast majority of cases with kids. they already know because it is pretty simple and obvious. young kids come with the golden rule implanted in them, but adults (and peer pressure) unfortunately often try to turn that gold into excrement.

as with any education, the thing to do is to provide the proper environment for them by your own example. that way, they are inspired and become responsible for their own actions and eventually become responsible adults (of which there seems to be a massive shortage these days).

let's take a specific example. if the kids are with you in your house, it is perfectly acceptable for you to insist that they are not going to consume animal proteins. this is not forcing veganism on your kids. these are simply house rules for which the rationale have been covered.

when they go to visit your ex-wife, they need to see that you don't eat corpses and they need to know why. now, for instance, say one of them (possibly the older one) decides to drink bovine mammary secretions. he does so with full knowledge of the health, environmental and ethical rationale. he also knows that you will not partake in such grossness because you have no wish to put cow pus into your mouth etc etc etc, since you've already gone through why you are the way you are. this way, he always has a baseline to measure any of his deviations from.

his act is not necessarily a bad thing, btw. kids like to explore and investigate (a quality which many adults seem to have lost), so doing the non-veg thing might be nothing more than such an exploration. my son wanted to taste cotton candy when he was 4 because the next door neighbours' kid had a bunch. he knew why we don't do candy, but he wanted to check it out himself. so he asked, i said go ahead, he tried, then he said yuck - and that was the end of that.

back to the udder matter. there is nothing wrong in letting him know that you find what he is doing quite disgusting (which is quite different from making him think he is disgusting), assuming you do feel that way.

it is more important for kids to know what they are doing and why, than actually not doing something because they've been told not to. they want to understand and appreciate the trust you place in them by letting them make their own choices. you can't nor want to watch them all the time, so it is really important to give that autopilot the best chance to develop.

in friendship,
prad

[kelly]

i don't have kids yet but being vegan, this is an issue for me as well and i have thought a lot about what i'll be teaching my own kids someday. when i've discussed it with others, they say things like, "you can't dump your stuff onto other people". but i don't see it as being any different than say, a religious preference. to me, teaching veganism and compassion to your kids is the same as bringing your kids up believing in any other set of values or morals.

above and beyond all, though, whether you show them anything like meet your meat or not, you are a big influence for them so just setting a good example will teach them a lot. if nothing else, they'll know you as a caring person and that will reflect in their lives and in the things they do.

[Justin]

Hi Trav, I don't have any children...hence I'm no expert on them. It just seems to me like you would spend this time expressing the nutritional value and how much animals want to live and be free. How much of a favor your doing yourself and the planet. I would probably wait on those kind of movies (Earthlings) until you're ready for them to see R rated and gory movies.

[child of the trees]

We have one child, well I say child , she's 18 now ! But yes, I think Educationg your children is not forcing your values on them. Telling them the truth as to where the food on their plate comes from and why you choose not to eat another being, isn't forcing :) I used to work with kids at out nursery, I remember one child telling me where sausages came from he said " you get a pig, unzip it's belly take the sausages out then zip it back up again ! " Now that I have a problem with, meat eaters who when their child asks, don't tell the truth !
7 and 9 is old enough to understand, we just told her the truth, we have cats and we said well its a bit like eating blackie there, there is really no difference. We don't eat blackie as shes our friend and so are ALL animals. You know you children best, you'll know what they can and cant handle. :) If you need anymore advice, We're here :)

[Randy]

My boy is 5 and at the moment he likes to fill up on eggs,milk, and chicken ( my wife wont have it any other way) I have offered him Boca Burgers etc. but he makes that yucky face. He watches daddy eat and says he wants to be just like me....so in time we will see. For the moment his nutrition is paramount and mommy tends to that. He does love his vegetables though.... :)

[pradtf]

i'm not sure i understand what you are saying here, randy. are you suggesting that eggs, milk and chicken constitute good nutrition for children?

in friendship,
prad

[Randy]

Yes.....it has been for generations

I live in a house divided you understand..........

[pradtf]

ah i see now. thank you for explaining. i have some memories of those 'house divided' days too, so i do understand.

your son is lucky to have someone setting an alternate example - and may be in time he'll be inspired to do some research and find out for himself about menstrual excretions of hens, bovine mammarian secretions with their legalized limits of pus as well as the content profile of poultry carcass remains.

after all, while being veg is to some extent a compassion thing, it's pretty hard to argue against the nutritional and health benefits these days.

you may find useful, this page which provides the HEE (health, environment, ethics) rationale in concise form as well as some very helpful links:
http://towardsfreedom.com/veggiechess/goVeg.html

in friendship,
prad

[kelly]

I'm not a parent but I can imagine this is a hard issue between parents - especially if one is for something and another is against it (or just not aware of the pro and cons, which in my experience tends to be one of the biggest factors for people deciding that a vegetarian diet wouldn't suit them)...

I think by "his nutrition is paramount" that you meant he's healthy and well, which is the most important above all. After all, without a healthy kid, there won't be much to pass on in terms of diet or values anyway. (That sounds kind of grim...) But you're setting a good example and I hope that he does decide to follow in your footsteps. Vegetarian or not, he'll at least have a sense of respect for other who do make that choice and will be a kinder and more compassionate person! =]

[Jamie]

Hi Trav,
It's now June and you posted this last December so I'm wondering how it's going? Do you still feel you might be forcing your values on them? Have they shown interest in wanting to know more about why you make the choices you do?

Warm Regards,
Jamie

[Trav]

Thank you Jamie for asking. I realized that perhaps the videos would be too graphic for them. I don't even let them see R-rated movies, a good point that Justin had brought up. So I chose to live by example and show them a more compassionate way of life. I will occasionally remind them of the origin of a hot dog or hamburger. They eat vegetarian while they stay with me. I asked my youngest son one day where he thinks bacon came from and he said they operate on the pig and take it out. In a sense I felt bad for ruining such innocence but then I realized that is part of the problem.